


Clumsy, Instead

by artist_artists



Series: Clumsy, Instead 'verse [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-22
Updated: 2013-02-22
Packaged: 2017-12-03 04:53:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/694379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artist_artists/pseuds/artist_artists
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt spends the summer after graduation losing faith in himself as he deals with a lot of unexpected heartache. He’s lost his boyfriend, been rejected from the school of his dreams, and is working at the Lima Bean. The most unexpected thing of all, though, is the comfort he finds in Sebastian.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Clumsy, Instead

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is canon compliant up to the end of season 3. Season 4 obviously messed things up, haha. It's basically a story about what Kurt's summer might have been like if he and Blaine broke up at the beginning of it.

The day of Kurt’s high school graduation was one of the happiest days of his life. To say a triumphant goodbye to McKinley surrounded by friends, family, and his boyfriend was something Kurt never could have imagined the first day he walked the halls four years ago. High school had been tough, but things had really turned around in the past few years, and they were only going to get better. Kurt was excited about moving to New York to start college and really begin his life. He had one last summer of childhood left, though, and he planned to make the most of it. There was still so much organizing and packing Kurt had to do, and he couldn’t wait to use the money he’d been saving to add a few more New York-worthy pieces to his wardrobe. Every spare moment before he left would be devoted to his friends, family, and Blaine, since Kurt knew they would not be seeing each other much during the coming school year. It was going to be a wonderful two months, leading up to the grand finale, his departure in late August. Kurt couldn’t wait.

-

Losing NYADA was tough. It was tougher than losing Blaine a few weeks later, but that might just have been because Kurt had still not recovered from the first blow. The breakdown of communication and trust between them had been rapid, and everyone around them had been shocked, but Kurt knew it had really started a long time ago. With Chandler, maybe, or possibly even Sebastian, or maybe the chasm had just always been there, and all the love in the world wouldn’t have been enough to keep them together. Kurt likes that version better than “we just didn’t try hard enough,” at least. The fighting had grown old quickly, and it was Kurt that kicked Blaine out of his house after a particularly explosive blowout, saying they were over. The next day, at the Lima Bean, the two of them sat down together and talked with calmer voices and words that weren’t quite as cruel, but they came to the same decision that Kurt had the night before. It was over.

NYADA, though, had felt like everything. Kurt could have risen above the break-up if he still had plans to leave, but in the wake of his rejection, dealing with the break-up became a lot more difficult.

Kurt had no boyfriend. He hadn’t gotten into college. He wasn’t moving to New York.

Fortunately, Kurt had learned a long time ago not to be too surprised when things didn’t go quite as he planned.

The new plan was simple. Get a job, save money, sign up for classes at the community college in the fall, maybe try some community theater, and reapply to NYADA. Not just NYADA, though, every performing arts college in and around New York City. Things had been delayed, and the joyful reunion between Kurt and Blaine the next year had been edited out, but Kurt was willing to work with these changes. He had spent eighteen years in Lima. One more wouldn’t kill him.

-

“I was wrong,” Kurt mutters to himself a few weeks later as he grabs a croissant from the case and places it into a small paper bag.

“What’s that, sweetie?” asks Elaine, her dark, frizzy hair flying behind her as she glides by holding two large coffees. Though she’s the manager of the Lima Bean, busy days sometimes require her to do some customer service as well.

“Nothing, sorry,” Kurt replies. “Just talking to myself.” He steps back up to the register, hands the croissant to the horrible man who now has the honor of being Kurt’s rudest customer ever, and doesn’t even bother trying to smile when he tells the asshole to have a nice day. Once the man has moved away from the register to wait for his drink, Kurt takes a deep breath to collect himself, then pastes the bright smile back on his face. “Next?”

Working at the Lima Bean isn’t so bad, rude customers aside. His boss is nice and gives him tons of hours, which helps Kurt pass the time now that he doesn’t need to organize, shop, pack, or hang out with Blaine. The money’s not great, but he prefers this to working at his dad’s garage all day. The apron isn’t flattering, but Kurt’s found ways to make it work. Planning outfits that work with the apron is part of his nighttime ritual now. He gets to see his friends, too, though they always seem to stop by at the busiest parts of the day. Kurt has attempted, on numerous occasions, to get them to visit later in the evening, closer to closing time, when there are no lines and Kurt can actually spend some time chatting, but so far, no one has. Under normal circumstances, Kurt thinks he would probably enjoy being alone with his thoughts during the quieter times at work, but his thoughts aren’t very appealing these days. The local theater isn’t starting its next production until mid-autumn, the community college has no performing arts classes at all, and the impracticality of Kurt’s plan now weighs heavy on his mind. His application won’t be much different than it was last year, so why would he get into NYADA now? Why would he get into _any_ performing arts school? He couldn’t even get more than a tiny role in his own high school’s musical. There was a good chance that he’d still be here next summer, too, making coffee and accepting paltry tips, instead of packing his bags for New York. Maybe he had been stupid to think he could get out of this place.

“Well, well, well,” says a familiar voice, tearing Kurt away from his thoughts. “I have to say, I didn’t expect to see a pretty princess like you slinging coffee like one of the commoners.”

Kurt sighs, allowing the fake smile to drop from his face when Sebastian Smythe steps up to his register. “Hello, Sebastian.” The two of them have not spoken since Regionals. Sebastian’s obsession with the Lima Bean had ended after the competition, and despite the apology, Blaine hadn’t maintained contact with Sebastian after that, either. “What can I get for you?”

Sebastian smirks. “Trying to rush me out of here so soon? Don’t you want to catch up?”

Though Kurt doesn’t feel the same flash of anger he used to feel around Sebastian, he still rolls his eyes. “There’s a line, genius,” he says, nodding his head in the direction of the crowd. “I know you must have driven a long way just to annoy me, but unfortunately, I don’t have a lot of time to chat right now.”

Sebastian laughs. “No big deal. I’ll have plenty of time to annoy you this fall.”

“This fall? Why?”

“You’re going to be in New York, right? NYADA?” Sebastian asks. “I’m going to Columbia.”

“Well, it’s a pretty big city,” Kurt says, hoping his voice doesn’t betray how much the mention of NYADA hurts. “It will be harder to haunt me there.”

“I’m sure I’ll manage,” says Sebastian with a grin. “How’s Blaine?”

It isn’t a rude question, but after the NYADA inquiry, Kurt’s on edge. “He’s single,” he snaps. “So you can call him and ask for yourself. Are you going to order or not?”

Sebastian is so surprised that he takes a step back from the counter. “You… wait, seriously?” Kurt just sends him a glare in response. “Um… just a medium iced latte,” Sebastian says after a moment.

Kurt punches the keys on the register with more force than necessary. “$4.07.”

Sebastian swipes a credit card through the reader. When Kurt hands him the receipt, Sebastian opens his mouth to say something else, but seems to think better of it when Kurt narrows his eyes again.

“You pick up your drink down there,” Kurt says, using his cheerful employee voice as he points at the other end of the counter. “Have a nice day!”

Sebastian walks away without another word. Kurt doesn’t expect to see him again anytime soon.

“Next?”

-

Only two days pass before Sebastian visits the Lima Bean again while Kurt’s working the register. Though Kurt doesn’t feel the need to apologize for his behavior, he isn’t rude to Sebastian, either.

“You’re being friendly,” Sebastian comments as he swipes his credit card.

“I’m friendly to all customers,” replies Kurt. “Until they give me a reason not to be.”

Sebastian laughs as he signs his name on the screen of the credit card reader. “I will take that as the warning it’s intended to be, and get out of your way.”

“Good idea.” Kurt smiles as he hands Sebastian his receipt. “Have a nice day.”

“Any day I get to see you suffering in that ridiculous apron is a nice day,” Sebastian calls over his shoulder as he walks to the other end of the counter.

Kurt just rolls his eyes. “Next?”

-

Sebastian stops by a lot after that. Not every day, but often enough for Kurt to think it’s a little bit strange. For weeks, Kurt hadn’t seen Sebastian at the Lima Bean at all, but suddenly he comes three or four times a week, bringing his laptop and sitting at one of the corner tables for hours at a time. He and Kurt are mostly civil to each other, save for the occasional insult. They’re never mean-spirited, though, and usually the two of them end their brief interactions with a smile.

The first time they even approach an actual conversation is a few days into July. Sebastian’s working on his laptop at his favorite corner table, still nursing the iced latte he bought an hour ago, when Kurt takes his break. He usually spends his 15 minutes taking a quick walk around the strip mall or playing with his phone in the break room while he has a snack, but it’s pouring outside today and the break room smells particularly offensive after Tim’s microwave mishap that morning.

The rain has caused more people to linger at the coffee shop than normal, and after a quick scan of the room, Kurt knows there are no empty tables for him to sit. He makes the decision to join Sebastian quickly. It’s not a hard choice, considering his options, but Kurt does feel a bit nervous as he approaches Sebastian’s table. They’re not friends, and Kurt fears he might be overestimating their level of camaraderie. He schools his face into a look of haughty annoyance before pulling out the chair on the other side of Sebastian’s table, moving the messenger bag that had been occupying it to the floor, and sitting down.

“You know,” Sebastian says without looking up from his laptop, “I arranged my belongings this way specifically so no one would ask if they could sit here.”

“Your bag can have its seat back in 15 minutes,” Kurt replies, pushing a few books aside so he can put his own stuff on the table.

Sebastian looks up, eyebrow raised. “Isn’t there a break room or something?”

“Not one that is suitable for human use right now, no,” replies Kurt. Sebastian doesn’t seem angry that Kurt’s here, just confused, so Kurt’s nerves calm down enough for him to ask a question he’s been wondering about. “What kind of work do you do here all the time? Classes don’t start for a while.”

“I’m taking two summer classes online,” Sebastian explains.

“Summer classes? Before you’ve even started your first semester?”

Sebastian smirks. “I know people doing actual academic work must seem strange to someone attending a performing arts college, but the Ivy League schools are sort of intense.”

Kurt rolls his eyes, trying to ignore the pain he feels at the vague reference to NYADA. “I know that,” he says. “It’s just weird that you’d have to take classes before you even started. Have you even been to orientation yet?”

“Orientation is right before classes start,” Sebastian replies. “I have to take these classes so I can work with this professor my dad knows. It’s normally not a job they give freshmen, and I can only do it if I have a few prereqs out of the way before I get there.”

“That sucks.”

Sebastian shrugs. “It’s not so bad. Just a lot of busywork.”

“Which must be terrible for a genius like you to deal with,” Kurt says as he starts to peel the paper from his muffin.

“It is,” Sebastian agrees, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “Hopefully, I’ll eventually get to classes that challenge me.”

“I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you.” They’re quiet for a moment after that, and Kurt gets in a few bites of muffin before Sebastian speaks again.

“I’m flattered that you’ve decided to grant me the gift of a conversation that lasts more than 30 seconds,” he says. “I thought it would never happen.”

Kurt rolls his eyes and swallows before replying. “It’s sort of hard for me to talk to people when the place is so crowded.” He doesn’t mean to sound so irritated, but he’s heard this complaint from his friends far too often. “If people want to talk to me, they need to come at night when I’m not as busy. I don’t know why this is so hard for people to understand.” Sebastian looks a bit startled by the outburst, so Kurt continues, trying to sound less incensed. “I wasn’t aware you had things to discuss with me, anyway.”

“Well,” Sebastian begins, one corner of his mouth tilting back up to form a smirk, “I do have a question about your wardrobe.”

“My wardrobe?” Kurt glances down at what he’s wearing. He had left his apron hanging in the break room to avoid customers bothering him on his break, and while the outfit doesn’t look 100% complete without it, Kurt’s pretty sure he’s pulling it off.

“Yeah,” Sebastian says. “I have a friend who wants to be a drag queen for Halloween this year, and he’s looking for some clothing ideas. Since you look like a drag queen all the time, I figured you might have some pointers.”

Kurt spends the rest of his break reading celebrity news on his phone.

-

The next time Sebastian shows up at the Lima Bean, he arrives just a few hours before closing time. It becomes a habit for him, and though Kurt never directly mentions it, he’s really touched that Sebastian actually listened to him. It’s a welcome change, spending the nights he closes trading barbs about clothing choices with Sebastian instead of dwelling on the fact that he might be stuck in Lima indefinitely, doomed to stay here selling coffee while all of his friends slowly leave him behind. Kurt looks forward to Sebastian’s visits, and on the nights that he doesn’t drop by, Kurt finds himself missing Sebastian’s playful smirk, or the way his arm muscles look when he leans on the counter. It’s strange, how much more appealing Sebastian is now that he’s not trying to steal Kurt’s boyfriend. Sebastian never mentions Blaine at all, actually, unlike Kurt’s parents and his other friends, who all seem to think Kurt and Blaine should try and work it out, especially since Kurt’s not leaving in the fall like he had planned. Only Santana eventually moves on from that idea, deciding that instead, what Kurt really needs is a rebound guy.

“Go to Scandals,” she says. “I’m sure at least one of those creepy old men will want to fuck you. You’ll feel better once you’ve put some distance between you and Blaine.” She pauses for a minute, then her face lights up with a lascivious grin. “Some distance, of course, being the length of the other guy’s-”

“I get it, Santana,” Kurt replies. He rolls his eyes and tries to dismiss the comment, but he knows she’s not entirely wrong. He may not be interested in hooking up with someone he meets at Scandals, but Kurt does see the appeal of a rebound. He had lived 17 years without kissing, and 18 without sex, and it hadn’t been that bad, but it hasn’t even been two months since he broke it off with Blaine and already he’s finding the lack of affection hard to tolerate. It becomes difficult to not look at Sebastian as an option. He’s handsome and tall. He’s smart, he makes Kurt laugh, and most importantly, he’s _around_. For whatever reason, Sebastian makes an effort to keep seeing Kurt, to listen to what he says, to let his eyes linger on Kurt’s lips a little longer than necessary.

It seems crazy, at first, when Kurt considers Sebastian as a potential rebound. _Sebastian_. Kurt spent so much of the past year hating the guy. Kurt starts to think that might be part of the appeal - that Sebastian is not someone close to him, but he’s not a stranger, either. Kurt wouldn’t be scared, but he wouldn’t be in danger of losing a close friendship, either. Sebastian has never shown any interest in relationships, and he seems to really enjoy sex, so he probably wouldn’t be opposed to being a short-term solution to Kurt’s frustration. The fact that the whole situation would annoy Blaine is just an added bonus. It doesn’t take Kurt long to convince himself that pursuing Sebastian is a worthy goal.

Kurt doesn’t come up with a plan of action right away, but he does try to make it clear that he appreciates Sebastian’s continued visits. Hanging out with Sebastian is fun, and it’s a good distraction from Kurt’s increasing doubts about his future, which are intensified in mid-July when Elaine asks him when he’s leaving.

“Leaving?” Kurt asks, confused.

“For school,” she clarifies. “I need to know for the schedule. ”Mid to late August, I’m assuming? That’s when Delia and Alex are leaving.”

“Oh, I’m not… I didn’t…” It’s always so hard for Kurt to admit that he isn’t leaving for college in the fall, that he hasn’t lived up to everyone’s expectations for him. That he’s stuck here in Lima for the foreseeable future. “I’m not going to school yet,” he says finally, trying to fake a smile. “So that’s one less new person you have to hire.”

She doesn’t hide her surprise very well, but Kurt appreciates her effort, anyway. “Oh! I’m sorry, I thought… well, that’s great news, actually. You’re one of the better employees, you know, and it would be awful trying to replace you. And, okay, we normally don’t announce this ‘til the monthly meeting, but Martin and I agreed that you’re getting employee of the month for July, so…” she trails off. “Good, then. That’s really good.” She gives him an awkward pat on the back and rushes off, aware of the discomfort she’s caused. A few days later, Kurt receives his award - a $25 gift card to the Lima Bean, and a Polaroid picture of his face tacked to the corkboard in the break room.

Kurt, seeing an opportunity to develop his “let Sebastian know I wouldn’t be entirely opposed to making out and possibly fooling around with him” plan, gives the gift card to Sebastian the day after he gets it. The two of them are recent Facebook friends, and Kurt had learned that Sebastian’s birthday was coming up after lurking his profile for a little while. Kurt had also spent a bit too much time clicking through all of the pictures posted of Sebastian in the past few years, but that’s what Facebook is for, right? Kurt puts the gift card into a birthday card from the 99 cent rack at the drug store and pulls it out of his apron once the shop has emptied out and there’s no longer a line of people waiting to be served.

“Here,” he says, passing the card over the counter as soon as Sebastian approaches for their nightly round of ‘quietly mock the patrons on the other side of the shop.’ “I figured you would have plans on your actual birthday, and wouldn’t be stopping by, so I wanted to make sure you got it before then.”

Sebastian takes the envelope and opens it, looking surprised when the gift card tumbles out into his palm. “You got me a gift card?” he asks, lifting it up to examine it more closely. “For here?”

“I didn’t pay for it,” Kurt says. He’s already starting to berate himself for being so desperate. It must be obvious to Sebastian now, how pathetic and needy Kurt is. They’re barely even friends and Kurt is giving him a birthday present so obviously designed to keep Sebastian in his life. This was a stupid plan. Kurt had probably misread everything. “I got it for free. I’m employee of the month, and they gave it to me, so…”

Sebastian looks up. “And you don’t want to use it yourself? I mean, you’re here all the time.”

“I just take whatever I want,” Kurt admits. “I don’t pay for it.”

Sebastian snorts. “Yeah, you’re real employee of the month material,” he says, shaking his head as he pockets the gift card.

“Everyone does it,” Kurt says. “Not just me.”

“Sure, sure,” Sebastian replies with a grin. “So, uh, how’d you know it was my birthday?”

Kurt hopes he’s not blushing too much. “Facebook,” he says. “I just noticed, and I thought… you could use this more than me. Since you’re here so much.”

“Yeah,” Sebastian replies. “Well, thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” says Kurt, starting to feel more relaxed with Sebastian’s acceptance of the gift. “Happy birthday.”

Sebastian stays late that night, disregarding the closing announcements instead of packing up his belongings like usual. He’s leaning back in his chair, watching Kurt wipe tables and put up chairs, when Elaine pokes her head out of the back room. Kurt’s expecting her to kick Sebastian out, but she just smiles.

“I don’t mind if your boyfriend stays,” she tells Kurt, “but you need to lock the doors.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Kurt protests, but she’s already gone. Sebastian seems to think it’s hilarious.

“What, I’m not boyfriend material?” he teases as Kurt heads over to lock the doors.

“You dress like Finn,” Kurt replies.

Sebastian snorts. “I’d think that would be a good thing. I mean, I heard this rumor that you used to have a thing for him.”

Kurt can feel his cheeks turning red. Had Blaine told Sebastian _everything_ about his past? Why would this have ever been brought up? “Good to know that Blaine thought that was appropriate information to share with the world,” he says, going back to wiping off tables as Sebastian laughs.

“Blaine didn’t tell me that,” he says. “Rachel made a joke about it on your Facebook last week. I wasn’t even sure if it was true, so thanks for the confirmation.”

“You’re an asshole.” That post had been weeks ago, though, and it pleases Kurt to know that he’s not the only Facebook creeper in the relationship.

Sebastian shrugs. “And you were in love with your stepbrother. Is the taboo thing a turn-on for you?”

Kurt doesn’t know how to respond, so he tosses the dirty rag at Sebastian’s face. Unfortunately, Sebastian has good reflexes and catches it before it hits him.

“You fight dirty,” he says, shooting Kurt an amused grin as he tosses the rag back. “Literally.”

“Cute,” Kurt replies, rolling his eyes. “Can we make a deal? If you shut up about the Finn thing, I won’t take my gift card back.”

“Like I’d let you take it back,” scoffs Sebastian. “God, I hope New York mellows you out a little. You definitely have potential to not be such a bitch, but right now you can’t even laugh at yourself.”

Kurt’s too busy thinking about the New York comment to come up with a response to the insult. He had forgotten that Sebastian still didn’t know he wasn’t going to New York in the fall. It will be an awkward conversation to have, but Kurt knows he can’t wait any longer to break the news. If he wants to do the rebound hook-up thing with Sebastian, it would probably be helpful if Sebastian knew Kurt wouldn’t be following him to New York and trying to lock him down into an actual relationship.

“You’ll have to wait a long time for that, unfortunately,” Kurt says, trying to keep his tone casual. “I won’t be in New York for a while.”

“What do you mean? Doesn’t NYADA start classes at the end of August?”

“Yeah,” Kurt says, focusing his attention on the table he’s cleaning. “I’m, um… I’m not going there, though, so that doesn’t really affect me.”  
  


Sebastian’s silent for a moment, and Kurt shoots him a quick glance. He’s frowning.

“I don’t understand,” he finally says. “Why wouldn’t you go?”

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” Kurt explains. “I didn’t get accepted.”

“So where are you going to school, then?”

Kurt sighs. “Allen County. They don’t have a performing arts program, but-”

“Wait, you’re not going to a real college?” Sebastian asks.

“Community colleges _are_ real colleges,” snaps Kurt. “Don’t be so elitist. We don’t all have rich fathers who can buy our way into Ivy League schools. My dad doesn’t have anything beyond a community college education, and he’s always taken care of me just fine.”

“Jesus, Kurt, relax,” Sebastian says. “That’s not what I meant, okay? You don’t have to pretend like you want to go there, though. I’m not stupid enough to believe that.”

“Well, I have to do _something._ ”

“You didn’t get into any other schools?”

“I didn’t really apply anywhere else,” Kurt admits.

“That was stupid,” Sebastian tells him. “So are you going to reapply for the spring semester? And to other performing arts schools in the city, too?”

“Maybe,” Kurt says. He’s clutching at the rag so tightly his hand is starting to hurt. “I don’t know what good it will do, though. My application will still be the same.”

“But the audition pool will be different.”

“So what?” Kurt asks. “I’m woefully underprepared for performing arts school. The only experience I have is dancing and singing in the background of a nationally renowned glee club.”

“You were in West Side Story,” Sebastian points out.

“I had three lines.”

“So, okay, don’t apply for performing arts school if you think you won’t get in,” Sebastian says. “Pick a different major. Or just move to the city and get a job.”

“That’s a terrible idea.”

“Why?” asks Sebastian. “You’re miserable here. I barely know you and even I can tell. If seeing me is the best part of your day, that’s a really bad sign.”

“I was _joking_ when I said that,” Kurt insists, feeling his face flush again.

“You weren’t. That’s how much you hate it here. You need to get out.”

“It’s really not that simple,” says Kurt. He’s given up even pretending that he’s cleaning tables anymore. “If I were in college, I could get student loans, but I can’t just… move to New York for no reason. It’s insanely expensive. It would be so irresponsible.”

“You could stay with someone,” Sebastian suggests. “You could stay with me, if you want.”

Kurt snorts. “In your dorm room? No thanks.”

“Oh please, like I’d live in a dorm,” Sebastian replies. “I’m getting an apartment. My dad and I are going to look next week.”

“Must be nice,” Kurt mutters.

“It is. But, hey, you could be my maid,” Sebastian jokes. “I’ll make sure there’s space for you.”

Kurt hates the fact that he wishes he could take Sebastian up on his offer. “Very funny.”

“It would be better than staying here,” says Sebastian. “What happens when you get too down on yourself to try applying to schools next semester? Are you going to work here forever? Just stay here and feel sorry for yourself, bitching to anyone who will listen about how your life is so terrible instead of trying to _do something_ about it?”

That hits a nerve, probably because Sebastian’s so close to describing the way Kurt already feels, and the summer isn’t even over yet. Kurt loses his last semblance of control. “You have no right,” he seethes. “ _None._ You have no idea what it’s like to be denied _anything_ , Sebastian. You’ve never had to work for anything you’ve gotten, things just get handed to you. You don’t get to have an opinion on this!” Kurt stops himself then, attempting to blink back tears. When it becomes clear that Sebastian isn’t going to reply, Kurt takes a steadying breath. “We’re closed,” he says. “You should probably go.”

Sebastian lets out a heavy sigh. “Fine.” He gathers up his belongings, stuffs them into his bag, and leaves without saying another word.

By the time Kurt locks the door again, he’s already regretting his harsh words.

-

Kurt works five straight shifts without seeing Sebastian, but it doesn’t take nearly that long to figure out how much he misses seeing Sebastian in the coffee shop. WIthout him, Kurt’s shifts drag, and any down time he has is spent dwelling on his bleak future. Though he hates to admit it, he knows Sebastian was right. This is all Kurt’s doing - the inability to get into NYADA, the lack of a decent backup plan - and he has no idea how to avoid the situation that Sebastian’s predicting, where Kurt is stuck in Lima for years and years because he feels like he’s not good enough at anything to go after his dreams. And now, on top of the crushing loss of both NYADA and Blaine, Kurt has also managed to lose whatever budding relationship might have existed with Sebastian. It’s not a great feeling.

He tries to distract himself from the fact that he has destroyed any chance he had of making out with Sebastian by helping Rachel plan one last New Directions party before half of them leave town at the end of the summer.

“Obviously, Finn is gone already, and Sam won’t be there, and Mercedes is in L.A… oh, and Rory’s left the country, of course, but if we have it by the 5th, pretty much everyone else should still be around,” she says one day over the phone. She sounds like she’s had far too much caffeine.

“Are you sure you can handle a party right now?” Kurt asks. They haven’t seen each other much over the summer, but every time they talk, it’s very clear that the break-up with Finn has left her shattered. “Maybe just the two of us should get together. Have a sleepover, you know?”

“Nope,” Rachel says. “I want to see _everyone_ before I leave, Kurt. This could be my last summer in Ohio, and I need to have a proper goodbye. What if I’m already famous before the first semester break?”

“Um…”

“ _Exactly._ Are Burt and Carole going to be in DC on the 3rd? Because my dads have already taken their summer vacation, and I really think this party would be better without adult supervision.”

Kurt sighs. “They’ll be gone. It’s just glee kids, though, right? Because I don’t want a huge mess…”

“Of course, just the glee kids that are still around,” she assures him. “Oh, and Puck wants to bring some of his pool cleaning clients, I think. And Blaine mentioned that he’d like to invite some of the Warblers. And Joe has some friends in his youth group…”

“Rachel,” Kurt interrupts. “This is a terrible idea.”

“It will be fine!” she says. “We’ll have fun! And drink alcohol!”

“Because that went so well last time?”

Rachel sighs. “I just… I really just want to have one last night where I get to see my friends, okay? Because soon I’m leaving, and I’ll be going to New York all by myself, without you, or Finn, and I-”

“Okay, okay,” he soothes, hoping to avoid tears. “We can do it at my house.”

“Yay!”

“But you have to help me clean up!”

“Of course!”

“And… the Warblers can come, and the youth group, but tell Puck the party’s for high school kids or recent graduates, okay? I don’t want a bunch of middle-aged women creeping around.”

“Fine, fine. I’m sure he’ll understand. Thank you, Kurt! I owe you!”

Kurt thinks he’s probably the one who owes her. He’s been distant this summer even though he knows she’s hurting. Of all of his friends, only Rachel has even attempted to go out of her way to touch base with him this summer, and Kurt has kept her at arm’s length. He feels guilty. It’s not animosity that’s causing it - though on bad days, Kurt does find it hard to sympathize with a girl who gets to leave at the end of summer to go to New York and pursue her dreams. Kurt’s just been a mess lately, and he can’t imagine he’d be much help to someone else when he spends most of his nights lying awake in bed letting his own anxiety and doubt eat him alive.

-

Sebastian shows up at the Lima Bean again six days after the argument. It’s early afternoon, and Kurt’s only there because he offered to take one of Delia’s shifts. Sebastian looks surprised to see him, but doesn’t respond to Kurt’s pleasantries when he orders, just asking for an iced latte and a chocolate chip muffin, handing over his gift card, and leaving the register quickly.

Kurt helps the next customer while he keeps one eye on Sebastian at the other end of the counter, waiting for his drink. It’s been almost a week since he talked to Sebastian, and Kurt really doesn’t want to pass up this opportunity to apologize. He had considered doing it in a Facebook message, but he didn’t want to seem insincere. The past week had been rough. Kurt hadn’t fully realized how integral Sebastian was to his current social life until he’d stopped coming into the coffee shop, and he really wants to make things right between them.

“I’ll be right back,” he tells Alex, who’s on the other register, before heading toward the back room to find Elaine. She meets him halfway, though, when she comes through the door. After seeing the line, she opens her mouth, probably to ask Kurt why he’s not on his register, but he speaks before she can. “Can I please take my 15 now? I know I’m not supposed to for another hour, but…”

She frowns. “Kurt…”

“Please? It’s… important,” he says, glancing over at Sebastian, who has gotten his drink and is already heading to the exit.

Elaine follows Kurt’s gaze, and sighs when she sees Sebastian. Kurt hasn’t discussed the situation with her, but he doesn’t doubt that she’s noticed Sebastian’s absence the past few nights that they’ve closed the shop together. “Okay,” she agrees. “I’ll go on register, go do what you have to do.”

“Thanks!” Kurt knows he probably owes her another extra shift for the favor, but it’s worth it.

He has to go outside to catch up with Sebastian, and after calling his name a few times across the outdoor shopping center’s parking lot, Kurt finally gets Sebastian to turn around.

“Hi,” Kurt says, out of breath from his quick exit. Now that he has Sebastian’s attention, he’s not sure exactly what to say. “Um… can we talk? I’m on break now, so…”

Sebastian considers for a minute before giving Kurt a stiff nod. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“Okay,” Kurt says, letting out a sigh of relief. “We can, um…” He scans the area for a place where they can sit, and spots an empty bench that’s not too far away. “Sit down, over there?” Sebastian doesn’t reply, so Kurt just walks over to the bench and hopes Sebastian will follow. He does, thankfully, but there’s an awkward moment once they’re both seated and Kurt still isn’t sure how to start.

“I’m sorry,” he finally settles on. “I was unnecessarily rude to you. I can get sort of… defensive, when people question me.”

Sebastian snorts. “You don’t say.”

“It’s just a hard thing for me to talk about,” Kurt continues. “I mean, I’ve been planning on getting out of here for so long, and now it’s not happening.”

“It can still happen,” Sebastian says. “I know I risk another patented Kurt Hummel bitch fit by even suggesting it, but I stand by what I said the other night. You should go to New York anyway. I think you _need_ to. Fuck NYADA, if they don’t want you. You’ll do something even better, prove them wrong.”

“I don’t think NYADA will really care if I attempt to exact revenge on them by being fabulous all on my own.”

“Well, whatever,” Sebastian says, shrugging. “It’s not really about them, anyway. It’s about you.”

It’s a surprisingly Blaine-like thing for Sebastian to say. Or maybe it’s just a generic boyfriend-esque thing to say. Kurt’s not sure, but he’s familiar with the warm feeling he gets from Sebastian’s words, the one that means someone Kurt cares about clearly cares about him in return. It’s been tough to find from his friends lately, and though he always feels it with his father, the two of them have spent most of the summer 500 miles apart

“Thank you,” Kurt says. “For caring. It means a lot. You’re right, about me being miserable here, but I still can’t just go to New York without a plan, you know? I’m going to make sure I work on it, though.” The promise is mostly just to appease Sebastian, because Kurt still has no idea how he’s going to make it in New York with his limited abilities.

“Good. The maid offer still stands, you know.”

Kurt grins. “You couldn’t afford me.” He hates that the idea of moving to New York and mooching off of Sebastian’s parents is actually sort of appealing to him.

“Probably not,” Sebastian concedes. “My dad and I are leaving Sunday to go look at some places. I’ll try and pick one you’ll approve of.”

Kurt decides to play along. “It better have a really nice bathroom.”

“Oh, trust me, it will,” Sebastian assures him. “I’m very particular about bathrooms.”

The conversations stalls for a moment as Sebastian takes his muffin out of the paper bag. “Do you want to split it?” he asks.

Kurt’s not very hungry, and he knows that if they break this muffin in half over their laps and then eat without a table covering them, it’s going to be a crumb catastrophe. He also knows that the offer is a gesture, though, and he won’t have time to eat later in his shift, anyway.

“You’re sure?” he asks. “I don’t want to steal your lunch.”

“I’m not really hungry enough for the whole thing,” Sebastian says. “I mainly just got it so I could get rid of this gift card faster, since I had no reason to come if you weren’t talking to me.”

The warm feeling morphs into what feels like a million butterflies fluttering around inside of him. When they split the muffin, Kurt can’t even bring himself to be concerned about the crumbs, because Sebastian’s back to looking at his mouth again, stealing quick glances while Kurt eats, which can only mean that makeout potential has been restored.

The idea strikes Kurt then, born from those fluttery feelings and his increasing dread of the upcoming New Directions get together that weekend, and he doesn’t allow himself time to change his mind.

“There’s a party at my house on Saturday,” he tells Sebastian. “It was mostly Rachel’s idea, but she guilted me into having it at my house. It’s mostly going to be New Directions people, but if you want to come…”

“I don’t know,” Sebastian says, frowning. “I don’t think your glee club likes me very much.”

“I don’t think anyone will give you trouble. Apparently, Blaine’s bringing some Warblers, so you’d fit right in.”

“Yeah, maybe if we all wear our uniforms, no one will even be able to tell which one I am,” Sebastian jokes.

“You’re kidding, but for some of my teammates, that’s probably true. I really don’t think anyone will give you trouble. I mean, if Blaine can invite those other guys who were so terrible to us, I can invite you, too.”

“It’s sort of weird that you’re still pissed at those guys for what they did, yet you’re the one inviting the guy who actually messed up Blaine’s eye. While aiming for you, I might add.”

Kurt shrugs. “It’s… different. I _knew_ you hated me. You never kept it a secret. Those other guys were supposed to be my friends. And they had been Blaine’s friends for even longer.”

“The slushie thing was my idea, not theirs,” Sebastian says.

“They didn’t seem to have a problem going along with it, though,” Kurt replies. “And never apologized to either of us.”

“I only apologized to Blaine, not to you.”

“Are you sorry?”

Sebastian thinks for a moment. “I would have been if you got hurt somehow. Which, by the way, no one would have if your boyfriend had toned down the heroism thing a notch. I only wanted to annoy you and mess up your clothes. I really hated you.”

“I really hated you, too,” Kurt says. “You should come, though. No one’s gonna care.” He’s starting to get really attached to the idea of Sebastian coming to the party. Kurt hasn’t seen much of Blaine since they broke up, and he’s afraid that being at the same party will be awkward. Having Sebastian there would guarantee him someone to talk to, even if all the rest of his friends spend the night hanging out with Blaine.

“It’s Saturday, you said?” Sebastian asks.

“Yeah. You don’t have to decide right now,” Kurt says. “I should probably get back inside, but why don’t we exchange numbers so I can text you the details? You know, in case we don’t see each other before then?”

“Okay,” Sebastian agrees.

In the two days before the party, Kurt and Sebastian don’t see each other. They do, however, keep a steady stream of text messages flowing back and forth, and by Saturday evening, Kurt’s convinced that his attempts to secure Sebastian as his rebound are going to come to fruition that night.

-

Sebastian arrives to the party a bit late with mumbled apologies. He doesn’t offer any excuses, though, and Kurt can tell he’s uncomfortable. Kurt’s sort of uncomfortable, too. Without Mercedes, Finn, and Sam there, he’s missing a lot of the people he’s closest to. Rachel has attached herself to Quinn’s side in the kitchen, Tina didn’t show, and most of the boys are playing a video game in the living room. Kurt’s not sure where Brittany and Santana are, but they went upstairs a while ago, and he hasn’t seen them since. Joe is in the backyard, sitting in a circle with the people in his youth group, and Sugar is on the back porch with Blaine and his Warbler friends, probably trying to decide which one of them she wants to make her next boyfriend now that Rory’s gone.

Blaine and Kurt have kept their distance from each other all night. They shared a stilted greeting when Blaine arrived, but haven’t talked since. It’s a relief to Kurt, but it still makes him feel awkward and out of place. He’s happy to see Sebastian, and even happier when Blaine comes in to grab a few more beers a minute later and does a double take when he sees Sebastian standing with Kurt. Blaine exits out the back door again without saying anything, though, and Sebastian lets out a breath.

“Well,” he says, surveying the living room and kitchen area. “This is quite the party.”

Kurt laughs. “Uh, yeah. I warned you about it being terrible, didn’t I?”

“You did,” Sebastian concedes. He’s almost touching Kurt now, they’re so close, and Kurt’s not sure which one of them drifted over. Maybe it was unconscious teamwork. Either way, the discomfort and awkwardness of the evening is already starting to dissipate as Kurt remembers that his main objective for this evening is to hook up with Sebastian.

“It might liven up as people drink a bit more,” Kurt says, closing the slight distance between them to give Sebastian a light shoulder bump. “Speaking of which, can I get you something to drink?”

“I could have a beer or something, sure,” Sebastian says, then follows Kurt into the kitchen. “I can’t drink too much, though. I need to stay sober enough to drive home by like… 11.”

“Yeah, of course,” Kurt replies. Sebastian had already mentioned via text that he was leaving for New York with his dad early the next morning, and couldn’t stay too late. “I hope PBR is okay,” he continues, reaching into the refrigerator to retrieve a can. “It’s all Puck brought.”

“That’s fine, thank you.” Sebastian takes the can from Kurt, then glances over at the impressive collection of liquor set up on the counter. “This stuff is more your style than beer, I imagine?”

Kurt laughs. “Uh, not really. I don’t drink much. Or… at all. Always the designated driver, remember?”  
  


“I was joking about that,” Sebastian says. “Didn’t realize it was true. So what’s the story on that, anyway? You not drinking?”

“There is no story,” Kurt says, a little confused. “I mean… I just actually usually am the designated driver.”

“And you do it because you’re so kind and caring?” Sebastian asks with a playful smirk.

“Is that so hard to believe?”

Sebastian thinks for a moment. “Actually, not really. But I still don’t believe it’s the only reason you do it.”

Kurt shrugs. “I don’t mind not drinking. The only time I got drunk got pretty embarrassing, so…”

“Aha,” Sebastian says, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “So you do have a reason. I need to hear this story.”

“There is no story.”

“Liar. You can’t just say something embarrassing happened to you and then expect me not to ask questions.” Sebastian puts on an exaggerated pout. “Don’t you know me at all?”

“It’s really not interesting,” Kurt insists.

“Come on, what was it?” Sebastian prods. “An ill-advised hook-up? A terrible fashion decision? Streaking?!”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Kurt immediately worries that he’s pushed the flirting thing a bit too far too fast, but Sebastian just flicks his eyes downward for a moment to look at Kurt’s body.

“I would,” Sebastian agrees, and Kurt has to bite his lip to hold in what was sure to be a very embarrassing vocal expression of his giddiness. “But tragically, I’m sure that’s not what happened. Come on, out with it.”

Kurt lets out an exaggerated sigh, “Fine. I puked on my guidance counselor.”

“You’re kidding!”

“ _Tragically,_ no.”

“Wow. Okay, that’s way better than streaking,” Sebastian says. “Not nearly as sexy, though.”

“Yeah. It was definitely not sexy at all.” Kurt knows his face must be bright red right now, but it’s not from embarrassment. His heart rate is picking up and he’s excited, because he’s doing much better at implementing his hook-up plan than he anticipated. What’s even more surprising is how easy Sebastian is making it. Kurt had been pretty sure there was some interest on the other boy’s part, but tonight it’s been blatant and impossible to ignore. Kurt hasn’t had any alcohol, but he feels a bit drunk from the exhilaration that flirting with Sebastian has given him. It’s the first time since his NYADA rejection letter came that Kurt’s been truly excited about anything, and it feels pretty wonderful.

Any lingering doubts Kurt has about pursuing Sebastian fade as the evening progresses. Sebastian stays by Kurt’s side all night, even when they eventually move on from the relative seclusion of the kitchen. They spend a bit of time talking with everyone, excluding Joe and his friends, who sort of look like they’re praying, and Kurt was right: no one gives Sebastian much trouble. Most of the guests just assume he came with the rest of the Warblers, and even Blaine greets him the second time they encounter each other, though Kurt can tell that Blaine’s smile is forced. Kurt and Sebastian stay on the porch with them for a little while listening to the boys who haven’t yet graduated discuss potential numbers for next year.

Sebastian drags Kurt back inside the house after a little while under the guise of wanting another drink, but once they’re there, he refuses Kurt’s offers.

“Can’t, remember? My dad will kill me if I stay over tonight.”

“Okay, so… ?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, did you want to spend the rest of the night listening to your ex and his band of merry Warblers debating over which song Blaine sounded best on two years ago?”

“Not particularly,” Kurt admits.

“Yeah, me either.” He releases the hold he’s had on Kurt’s wrist since they left the patio. “I think I’d rather play video games with your mohawked friend.”

They don’t end up hanging out with Puck, Artie, and Mike in the living room, though, because Rachel is in there, too, just starting in on a very loud, very angry tirade about a lot of different things, but it seems to be focusing mainly on the army and what Barbra Streisand would or would not do in any given situation. Kurt considers trying to calm her down, but Quinn is sitting with her, and Sugar, who has wandered inside as well, is on her other side, nodding enthusiastically along to Rachel’s rant. She’s safe, at least, and not crying yet, and Kurt figures it’s probably good for her to let out a little frustration.

“We should go upstairs,” he says to Sebastian before he can convince himself not to. Apart from Rachel, everyone at the party is being fairly calm and seems to be behaving themselves, and since Sebastian can’t stay too late, it’s a good time to sneak away. “Because, um… Brittany and Santana went up there ages ago, and I want to make sure they’re okay. Or at least not doing unspeakable things on my bed. I’d never sleep again, you know.”

“Yeah, of course,” Sebastian says, meeting Kurt’s gaze. “That would be gross.”

“Very gross,” Kurt agrees.

He leads Sebastian up the stairs, but they don’t check for Brittany and Santana anywhere else before entering Kurt’s bedroom. Kurt does notice that Finn’s door is closed, but he doesn’t mention it.

“This is your room, I’m guessing?” Sebastian asks as Kurt turns on the light.

“Did the tasteful décor tip you off?”

“That, and the collection of scarves hanging off your closet door,” he says. “Your bed looks unsoiled, so I guess your friends didn’t-”

Kurt shudders. “Please don’t finish that sentence. You’re right, though, I guess they didn’t come in here.”

“So… do you want to go back downstairs?” Sebastian asks.

“Not really,” Kurt replies. “Dealing with Rachel’s drama is not something I feel up to right now. We could… stay up here for a while? Until she calms down?”

“Sure.”

Though Kurt’s been feeling slightly giddy and hyper-alert since Sebastian arrived, feeling electricity between them every time they do so much as brush shoulders, his heart rate really goes into overdrive when he closes the bedroom door. This is it; he’s making a move. Kurt’s never done anything like this before, because it was so different with Blaine. With Blaine, he had wanted movie romance, but right now, all Kurt can think about is how he hopes his bed sees some sort of action tonight, despite being left alone by his friends. It feels like he’s been waiting for this moment for weeks, and when he turns from the doorway, Sebastian is already crowding his personal space, one eyebrow raised in challenge.

It’s the last sign Kurt needs. He swallows down the last traces of nervousness and surges forward to press his lips against Sebastian’s. After letting out a surprised “oomph,” Sebastian responds to the kiss enthusiastically, allowing Kurt to bring his hand up to the back of Sebastian’s head to pull him closer. Before long, Kurt finds himself pressed up against the door as Sebastian takes control.

It’s a few minutes before he releases Kurt’s lips and pulls back a bit. “Does this door lock?”

In the seconds it takes Kurt’s body to catch up with his brain enough to reply, Sebastian gets impatient and starts kissing him again.

“Yeah,” Kurt manages after a minute, “It’s, um… here, hold on.” He turns slightly so he can reach the lock and turn it, giddy at the thought of what it might mean. A few days ago, Kurt had been convinced that he’d ruined any chance of this happening, but it had been so easy, so quick, and it’s been months since anyone kissed him like this, and it feels amazing. For once, he hasn’t misinterpreted a situation involving another boy. Sebastian is hot and attentive and not looking for an epic romance, and he is _there_ in Kurt’s bedroom, and they’ve just locked the door.

Kurt pulls Sebastian back toward him roughly, and when their lips smash together again, it’s actually a bit painful. Neither of them complains, but Sebastian lets out a quiet grunt that goes straight to Kurt’s dick. It prompts him to let his hands journey southward a bit, down from Sebastian’s head, over his shoulders and down his chest.

“Jesus, Kurt,” Sebastian says when one of Kurt’s hands dips dangerously close to Sebastian’s belt. “You move fast.”

“You’re the one who wanted to lock the door,” Kurt points out. He already sounds breathless.

“I didn’t say it was a bad thing,” Sebastian replies with a grin, resting his forehead against Kurt’s. “I’m impressed.”

“And we haven’t even really done anything yet. You must be pretty easy to impress.”

“I’m really not,” Sebastian whispers, his eyes focused on Kurt’s lips for a minute before he moves back down to kiss them again. Kurt keeps his hands down around Sebastian’s belt while as the other boy pushes him even harder against the door, working his leg in between Kurt’s thighs. Sebastian groans when he feels that Kurt is starting to grow hard, and after another moment of frenzied kissing and grinding, Sebastian pulls away from Kurt’s mouth.

“Can I blow you?” he asks, looking into Kurt’s eyes. “Is that okay?”

“God, yes,” Kurt says immediately, though it takes him a moment to go through his personal mental sex preparation checklist. No one’s drunk, confused, or crying, no friendships are at stake, neither of them is currently attached to anyone else. There is still the issue of safety, but Sebastian takes care of that before Kurt can voice his concerns.

“Do you have condoms here somewhere?” he asks. Kurt directs him to the bottom drawer of his dresser, where the box is hidden underneath a lot of out of season stuff Kurt doesn’t wear anymore. He’s not sure if Sebastian wants him to move or not, so he just stays against the door, waiting.

Sebastian returns after retrieving a condom and tossing the rest of the box aside, but he doesn’t go for Kurt’s belt right away. They kiss again before Sebastian starts working on the top buttons of Kurt’s shirt.

“You never get to say I move fast again, by the way,” Kurt says as Sebastian gives up on the buttons and roughly untucks Kurt’s shirt. “Not after offering to blow me before you’ve even undone one button.”

“Are you saying you don’t appreciate my enthusiasm?” Sebastian asks, motioning for Kurt to lift his arms.

“Not at all.” Kurt’s reply is muffled by both his shirt and his undershirt being pulled over his head at the same time.

Sebastian tosses the shirts aside, and Kurt bites back a lecture about pulling nice button-down shirts over people’s heads and then throwing them on the ground.

“Good,” Sebastian says. He crashes his lips against Kurt’s again, but it’s not long before he moves on to all of the newly exposed skin. By the time he gets to Kurt’s waist and starts to undo his belt, Sebastian is on his knees. Kurt’s cock is fully hard in front of him, and he glances up at Kurt before unbuttoning his pants. “This still okay?”

“Yes, definitely,” Kurt assures him, surprised that Sebastian seems so dedicated to both safety and consent. Last year, sitting in the Lima Bean listening to Sebastian brag about his conquests, Kurt never would have imagined it to be the case.

Once Sebastian gets Kurt’s pants undone, he grabs hold of the pants and Kurt’s briefs and pulls them down at the same time, letting them rest slightly above Kurt’s knees. Sebastian doesn’t waste a lot of time teasing once the garments are out of his way, but he does give Kurt’s dick a approving look before taking out the condom and rolling it on. He leans forward and gives the tip a few gentle licks. Kurt can’t stop the contented groan that escapes his lips as soon as Sebastian actually takes his dick into his mouth.

Kurt’s no stranger to getting sucked off. Blaine loved doing it, and it was always his go-to move when they had time to fool around. This feels different, though, thrilling in a different way. Sebastian’s sort of rough, sucking hard and fast, where Blaine had always savored it, been more reverent. Once Sebastian moves a hand up to take hold of the part of Kurt’s cock he can’t get into his mouth, Kurt knows he won’t last much longer. He lets his hands drift to Sebastian’s head, but tries to be gentle with his hair. It takes a concerted effort to not pull Sebastian forward and start fucking into his mouth, but Kurt does manage to restrain himself. There’s no way to stop the breathy little moans, though, no matter how embarrassed Kurt knows he will feel about them later.

He does manage to remain mostly quiet when his orgasm hits. Sebastian sucks him through it, not pulling off until Kurt’s gone limp against the door and let his arms fall from Sebastian’s head.

“Oh my god,” Kurt says after a minute, watching dazedly as Sebastian peels off the condom and tosses it in the trash can by the dresser.

“Yeah, I’m amazing, I know,” he says, giving Kurt an impish grin.

Kurt still feels boneless in his post-orgasm haze, but he’s starting to become aware of how exposed he is. He pulls up his underwear but has a tough time when he tries to fasten his pants. Sebastian helps him out, but not without laughing.

“I’ll take your inability to complete simple tasks as confirmation of my unparalleled skill,” he says.

“Yeah, well, if you just give me a second, I will gladly… parallel your skill,” Kurt replies. “No, really,” he continues after Sebastian starts laughing again. “I’m good at it! Do you want a blow job or not?”

“I definitely, definitely do.”

“Good. You can get on the bed, though,” Kurt tells him. “Because there is no way I’m kneeling in these pants.”

Sebastian smirks. “Yes, sir.”

Kurt allows himself another moment to recover while Sebastian makes a show of sprawling out on the bed.

“Comfy,” he remarks.

“My bed is wonderful,” Kurt agrees. When he walks over to grab another condom from the box Sebastian threw on the floor a few minutes ago, he spots the used condom in the trash can and it really hits him: He and Sebastian just had sex, and it was pretty great, and not weird or scary or awkward, and they’re about to continue doing it. Kurt had been hoping _something_ would happen, but this night has turned out so much better than he anticipated. Also, he really needs to remember to take out his trash later.

A loud knock on the door disrupts his thoughts.

“Kurt!” calls Rachel. “Are you in there? Kuuuuuuuuurt?!”

Kurt remains silent for a moment, but the door knob starts moving back and forth and she starts knocking again.

“KURT!”

“Yes, Rachel?”

“Can I come in? What are you doing with the door locked, anyway?”

Kurt sighs and gives Sebastian an apologetic glance. “Avoiding your drunken tirade, mostly,” he yells at the closed door. After retrieving his shirts from the floor and pulling them on as quickly as he can, he unlocks the door and lets Rachel in. Sebastian has moved so he’s seated on the edge of the bed, and Rachel doesn’t seem too suspicious.

“That was _not_ a tirade,” she informs Kurt as she walks into the room. “That was a legitimate and appropriate expression of emotion.”

“Okay,” Kurt says. Maybe if he agrees with her, she’ll leave faster. “Is there something I can help you with?”

She looks at him like he’s lost his mind. “People need rides, Kurt! You promised me you’d give people rides!”

“And I’m going to,” Kurt assures her, putting his hands on her shoulders. “Calm down. I just wasn’t aware they needed rides right this very second.”

“People need rides,” she repeats, her voice solemn.

Kurt sighs. “Okay. I’ll be downstairs in a minute.” Rachel leaves without closing the door, and Kurt turns to Sebastian. “I’m sorry. I did promise, so I should probably… go do that. You can come with me, if you want? I don’t know how long it’ll take, but maybe we could come back afterward?”

“No, that’s okay,” Sebastian says. “I should probably be getting home soon anyway.”

“Right,” Kurt says, feeling a bit disappointed that he’s not going to have a chance to get Sebastian off tonight.. “Um… rain check?”

Sebastian laughs. “Sure. And, uh, I can help you out bringing people home, if you want? I’m sure some people live out in my direction.”

“Yeah, that would be great.”

“KURT!” Rachel screams from the hallway.

Kurt rolls his eyes at Sebastian before yelling, “I’m coming, Rachel!”

-

Despite the running text message conversation Kurt and Sebastian had going up until Saturday night, Sunday passes with no communication between the two of them. Kurt considers sending him a text in the morning to tell him to have a safe flight, but he’s not sure if Sebastian is flying or driving. Kurt fears it might seem a bit clingy, too, which is really not how he wants to come across the day after they had sex. He’s still not interested in Sebastian being anything but a casual fling to help him get over Blaine, and he knows that Sebastian isn’t looking to be in a relationship, either. Anything Kurt sends might give Sebastian the wrong idea, and scare him off.

By the end of the day, Sebastian hasn’t texted Kurt, either, and Kurt’s starting to think that maybe his lack of clinginess was too little, too late. Maybe Sebastian regretted what happened, or maybe he had a very strict rule about ditching people once they’ve had sex. It seemed unlikely, but Kurt couldn’t be sure how Sebastian felt. It had been obvious that Sebastian was attracted to him, but beyond Sebastian’s anecdotes of hook-ups at Scandals, Kurt really didn’t know much about his sex life, or how he dealt with people after sleeping with them. Maybe he had never even slept with anyone he knew before, and this was weird territory for him.

Kurt spends most of Monday morning trying to draft the perfect text message to Sebastian. He wants it to be a joke, something sarcastic, no mention of their lack of communication. After all, before Saturday, they had been used to going days without talking. They hadn’t even exchanged phone numbers until last week. Kurt knows there is probably no reason to be panicking like this, but before he can actually stop, he needs to get confirmation from Sebastian that it’s true.

It happens before Kurt has the chance to come up with his perfect text. His phone buzzes just as he arrives at the Lima Bean to start his shift, and it’s a picture message from Sebastian. The picture is of a fairly nice bathroom, and the accompanying message says, _In case you change your mind about the maid thing, does this meet your standards?_

Kurt smiles to himself, so relieved to have contact, and quickly replies. _It could be worse, I suppose._

He’s in the break room getting his apron on when the next picture arrives. This one is of an empty room, with sunlight streaming in through a large window. _This is the second bedroom._

 _I don’t know, I don’t think it’s big enough for me,_ Kurt texts back.

He takes his time tying his apron, hoping that Sebastian will reply before it’s time to get out on register. When he’s about to give up and head out, he gets a reply.

 _Oh… how awkward, this bedroom wouldn’t be for you. As hired help, you’d have to sleep in the broom closet._ A picture message of an empty closet follows a few seconds later, and Kurt laughs out loud.

He’s about to be late, but he leaves his phone on vibrate when he sticks it into the pocket of his apron. He’s usually pretty good about the no cell phone rule, but he can’t help but hope the crowds are light today so he can continue his conversation.

-

Sebastian shows up at the Lima Bean toward the end of Kurt’s closing shift two days later. Knowing that there was a chance Sebastian might stop by, Kurt had delayed his break. He gets off of register as soon as the last customer in the short line has been served, and he doesn’t even have to tell Alex that he’s taking his break. All of Kurt’s coworkers know Sebastian by now. Elaine’s not the only one who calls Sebastian his boyfriend.

“Hey,” Kurt says, dropping into the empty chair at the table Sebastian’s chosen. “How was your trip?” Though they had spent a lot of time texting in the past few days, the conversation had devolved into a very lengthy argument about which Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle was the best. After the apartment pictures that he had sent Kurt, Sebastian hadn’t mentioned much about what he was doing in the city. What had happened at the party on Saturday night hadn’t come up, either, and Kurt knows they will have to talk about it sooner rather than later, if only just to make sure both of them feel the same way about it.

“It was good,” Sebastian replies. “The apartment thing’s out of the way, so that’s a relief. How was the party clean-up?”

“Surprisingly easy. Apparently Dalton boys and devout Christians clean up after themselves, because I only really had to spend a lot of time cleaning up the living room.”

Sebastian grins. “So the party was a success, then.”

“It was,” Kurt agrees, remembering flirting and light touches and Sebastian on his knees in front of him. “Very successful.”

“My trip was, too. I mean, beyond the apartment thing.” Sebastian leans over to open up his bag, and produces a stack of papers, placing them in front of Kurt. “I got you a present.”

“Um… thanks? What is this stuff?” he asks, taking picking up the first packet of paper.

“Applications to some performing arts schools in New York,” Sebastian explains. “I mean, apparently you only applied to one last year, so I thought that maybe you forgot there was more than one school.”

“Sebastian…”

“Don’t get annoyed. I’m not trying to force anything on you, I just think it’s stupid for you to give up on doing what you want to do because one audition person didn’t like you.”

Kurt can’t help but correct him. “She _did_ like me. My audition went really well, but I guess even at my best I’m not good en-”

“Oh, stop it, if she liked you, that’s a _good_ thing. It means you’re good. It means if you audition again there might be space for you. It means _other_ people will like you, too. It doesn’t hurt to try again, anyway. A lot of these places have already passed their spring application deadlines, or they won’t let you start in the spring semester, but you still have plenty of time for next fall.”

“Thank you,” Kurt says, touched by the effort Sebastian has made. “I think you can get all of these applications online, though, you didn’t have to go through all that trouble.”

“Well, now you feel guilty about the effort I went through, and maybe you’ll think about it more,” Sebastian says with a smirk. “I only did this because it has become clear to me that you are not interested in becoming my maid.”

“I’m really not.”

“But, if you want to come to New York in the fall, and still insist on being _smart_ about it and having a _plan_ , you can look up and apply for jobs online,” Sebastian continues. “And then if you get an interview or something, I’ll be there, so you know you’ll have a place to stay overnight.”

Kurt considers this. “Thanks. I mean, I’ll look into it, but I doubt I’d be able to find a job that would pay me well enough to live in the city.”

“Well, maybe you could make enough to live with roommates,” Sebastian says. “At least until you decide what to do about school.”

“You really want me to go to New York, huh?” Kurt jokes.

“I think _you_ really want to go to New York, but for some reason, you’re making up a bunch of excuses instead of making it happen.”

“They’re not _excuses_ , Sebastian, they are legitimate conc-”

“You’re getting annoyed,” Sebastian interrupts, holding up a hand. “We agreed that wasn’t allowed.”

“I don’t remember agreeing to that,” Kurt says, but his annoyance is already fading.

“Oh, it was implicit. But we should change the subject before you start breaking the rules again. How was life without me?”

“Horrendous,” Kurt deadpans. “I had to actually work the whole time I was here.”

“Oh, that must have been dreadful for you.” Sebastian’s eyes glitter with amusement.

They fall into a companionable silence, but Kurt’s break is only so long, he figures it’s probably as good a time as any to bring up Saturday night.. “Can we talk about the party? I mean… what we did, at the party?”

Sebastian’s smile drops off of his face immediately. “Do we have to?” He looks panicked.

It’s not quite the reaction Kurt was hoping for. “Um, yeah? Why, was it that bad?”

“No! No, I just… I really don’t think we should start dating, and-”

Kurt stops him. “Me neither.”

Sebastian lets out a huge sigh of relief. “Oh, thank god.”

Kurt raises an eyebrow, and Sebastian hastens to explain. “No, no, it has nothing to do with you,” he assures Kurt. “As horrifying and unexpected as it is, I actually like you a lot. But I would be, like, the world’s worst boyfriend. I mean, especially with what you expect from a boyfriend. I’d be terrible.”

“I don’t doubt that.”

“And, anyway, I’m moving, so it would be a really stupid idea.”

“I agree,” Kurt says. “I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page.”

“And we are, right? About not dating?”

“Yeah.” Kurt pauses, a little nervous about the next question. “And, um, what page are you on about the blow job that I owe you?”

Sebastian’s eyes widen in shock, but he quickly schools his expression into something more neutral. “You, uh… you still want to? Because I’m basically always on whatever page blow jobs are on.”

“Well,” Kurt says, his confidence returning, “like I said, I’m good at it.” Sebastian laughs as Kurt continues. “And we’ve already agreed that we’re not dating, so there shouldn’t be anymore awkward conversations like this one.”

“An impressive argument,” Sebastian replies. “I think you’ve convinced me.”

“Good.” Kurt leans forward over the table, as close to Sebastian as he can get. Lowering his voice a little, he says, “Because my house is empty this evening.”

-

Kurt lies awake in bed for hours that night after Sebastian leaves, but it’s not anxiety or doubt keeping him up. It’s the possibilities that might still exist in the stack of applications on his desk. He thinks of Sebastian’s words from earlier that evening, saying Kurt wanted to be smart and have a plan. Sebastian’s wrong. Kurt _doesn’t_ want to play it safe. He wants, more than anything, to go to New York in the fall, just like he’s always planned. It might not be smart, and it definitely won’t be easy, but Kurt’s not accustomed to doing things the easy way, anyway, and he’s not sure how he’s deluded himself about that all summer. He belongs in New York, and he owes it to himself to at least try. With Rachel and Sebastian in the city as well, he’ll have a safety net, people to turn to if he needs help. He knows, logically, that the worst thing that will happen is that he’ll run out of money and have to come back to Lima, and that probably wouldn’t be that much worse than things are right now.

Kurt finally drifts off after putting together a vague plan of action, and he calls Rachel as soon as he wakes up the next morning.

Without even greeting her, Kurt immediately goes into sales pitch mode as soon as she picks up. “What’s the deadline for getting your dorm money back if you decide to live off-campus?”

It takes Rachel a minute to reply. “Umm…I’m not sure.”

“You should look it up,” Kurt tells her. “I’m thinking of moving to New York this fall, and I thought maybe we could look for an apartment together?”

Rachel’s squeal of delight is probably loud enough to disturb her neighbors.

-

The next few weeks are the best of Kurt’s summer. Just working toward leaving Lima again is enough to keep his mood elevated. He spends hours online looking at jobs, internships, college programs, and apartments. Though Rachel is excited about the idea of living with Kurt instead of in the NYADA dorms, she has yet to convince her dads that it’s the best course of action. She usually gets what she wants in the end, so Kurt tries not to worry about it.

Shifts at the coffee shop are easier, too, now that Kurt sees a light at the end of the tunnel again. His polite customer smile is no longer forced, and when his coworkers mention their college plans, it’s not devastating. Even his boss notices the shift in his demeanor.

“You’re so smiley lately!” Elaine exclaims one slow afternoon at work. “It’s a good look for you.”

‘Oh,” Kurt replies, surprised that it’s been so noticeable. “Um, thanks. It’s been a good week, I guess.”

Elaine smiles. “Good!”

“On a related note… I guess I should maybe mention that I might actually be leaving at the end of the summer, even though I said before that I wasn’t.”

“Oh, yeah? Where are you going?”

“Nothing’s certain yet,” Kurt replies, “but I think I’m going to be moving to New York with my best friend.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful! I’m so happy for you,” she gushes. “You’ll be hard to replace, though!”

Kurt laughs, feeling his cheeks start to color. “Thanks. I’m pretty excited.”

Sebastian enters the shop then, and Elaine gives Kurt a knowing look.

“I’m going to go and work on the schedule,” she says with a wink. “Let me know if you need anything.” She disappears into the back and Kurt turns to smile at Sebastian.

“Hi,” Kurt greets him. “Is it an iced latte day, or… hm, you sort of look like you’re in a frappe place today.”

Sebastian returns his smile. “You’re just trying to squeeze extra money out of me now that my gift card’s done.”

“What a terrible accusation,” Kurt says, pushing the large frappe button on the cash register. “Do you want anything else?”

“Yes, but I don’t think you can give it to me until you get off work,” Sebastian says with a smirk. “Oh, and if I pay you for it, I think we could both be arrested.”

“Well, I’m off in about an hour,” Kurt replies. “And Carole won’t be home until at least six.”

Sebastian’s grin widens, but Delia has just come over to start making his drink, so he doesn’t say anything else incriminating. Fooling around after Kurt’s shifts has become a habit for them since Sebastian returned from New York. They do it as often as one of their houses is free, though Kurt is still wary of going back to Sebastian’s house after getting walked in on by his father a few days ago.

“Let me guess,” Sebastian’s dad had said, looking amused. “You’re Kurt.”

Kurt was too busy trying to pull up the zipper on his pants without falling off the couch to reply.

It was mortifying, but after being walked in on by Blaine’s grandmother in a much more compromising position earlier that year, Kurt knows he’s lucky. He also knows that he will never again allow himself to get so frisky in the living room of someone’s parents’ house.

Mishaps aside, it’s fun, sneaking around with Sebastian, and though Sebastian’s dad clearly knows who he is, Kurt hasn’t told anyone he knows about what’s going in. He knows there’s a chance that no one will react positively to the knowledge that he’s sleeping with the guy pretty much everyone spent the past year loathing. Kurt’s been too happy lately to invite any negativity right now.

His hook-ups with Sebastian are not the only secret Kurt’s keeping. He also hasn’t told Sebastian about his plans to get an apartment with Rachel in the fall. Though he’s been pretty open with Sebastian about most things, Kurt is reluctant to share this news so soon, especially since there is still no guarantee that it will actually happen. Telling Sebastian that he’s moving to New York in the fall will be easy, and Kurt can’t wait to do it. Telling Sebastian that his plans fell through and he won’t be moving so soon after all would not be easy at all, and Kurt wants to avoid it at all costs.

He hasn’t mentioned his plan to his dad yet, either, but Kurt knows he can’t hold off on that much longer. A few days later, when Burt is home for the weekend and Carole is at work, Kurt makes dinner for the two of them and breaks the news.

“Rachel and I are thinking of getting an apartment together in New York,” he says soon after they’ve sat down. His father doesn’t immediately reply, so Kurt continues. “Not next year, though. Next month, when she starts her classes. I mean, it’s actually not even a month, but-”

“Kurt,” Burt says, interrupting the nervous babbling. “I think that’s a great idea.”

“You do?” Kurt lets out the breath he’s been holding.

“Yeah, I really do. I’m… relieved, actually, that you’re planning on it,” his dad admits. “I was starting to worry about you.”

“Really? Why?”

Burt sighs. “You’ve seemed so unhappy. When you didn’t get in, I figured you’d bounce back, like always, but…”

“Well, it was a pretty tough blow.”

“I know,” Burt assures him. “Trust me, I know. But you’re always surprising me with how resilient you are, so I thought you’d just brush this off. I was starting to think about staging an intervention.”

Kurt smiles. “It’s not necessary. I had a rough summer, but… I really want to do this.”

“And you should,” says Burt. “This town doesn’t deserve you.”

“It doesn’t bother you?” Kurt asks. “That I want to leave without a school to go to, or a guaranteed job?”

“Maybe it’s not ideal,” Burt replies. “But if anyone can handle it, it’s you. And I’ll help you with rent, as much as I can, and it’s not like you can’t come back if things don’t work out.”

Kurt can feel the tears threatening to fall, but he doesn’t exert a lot of effort trying to hold them back. This is his dad, after all, and Kurt stopped hiding things from him years ago. “Have I ever told you that you’re the most amazing dad ever?”

Burt laughs. “Maybe not so directly. I’m gonna miss you, you know.”

“I’m going to miss you, too,” Kurt replies. “I mean, if it even happens. I still don’t even if know if Rachel’s dads will agree to it, or if we’ll find an apartment, or if-”

“It’s gonna happen,” Burt says, leaving little room for argument. “Sooner rather than later, it’s gonna happen.”

-

Later that night, Kurt gets a phone call from Rachel informing him that her dads have tentatively agreed to the apartment idea. “But you know about their 48-hour rule, of course, so I won’t know if the decision stands until Monday night. They rarely actually reverse their rulings, though! I’m so excited!”

“Me, too,” Kurt tells her. “I talked to my dad about it earlier, and he thinks it’s a good idea.”

Rachel squeals. “Yay! Oh, we’re going to have so much fun!”  
  


“But we can’t get _too_ excited until Monday,” Kurt reminds her.

“Right,” Rachel replies. “So, um. Let’s talk about something else! Like Sebastian!”

“Sebastian? Why would we talk about him?”

Rachel lets out an irritated sigh. “Kurt, I’m not stupid. You’ve been so much happier lately, and you also brought him to your party and then locked yourselves in your bedroom for god knows how long…”

“Um, it was _your_ party, first of all,” Kurt says. Beyond telling her that they had become friendly, he’s never mentioned anything about his relationship with Sebastian to Rachel.

“And second of all?” Rachel asks, sounding smug.

Kurt sighs, but decides to come clean. “Fine. We’ve been… doing things.”

“ _Things_ ,” Rachel repeats. “How sexy.”

“You’re not getting details, sorry.”

“Well, you’re no fun! I suppose I can respect your privacy, though.” She pauses for a moment. “Are you doing this to make Blaine angry? Because I’m pretty sure it worked.”

Kurt frowns, remembering that he had considered it a bonus of securing Sebastian as a makeout partner before. It had never been a real goal of the mission, though, and now that Kurt’s thinking about it, he knows he doesn’t actually want to cause Blaine any real discomfort. “I didn’t do it to annoy him. Was he upset that Sebastian was at the party?”  
  


“Yeah,” Rachel says. “I don’t know if it was because you were with another guy, or just because it was Sebastian. I mean, you have to admit that it’s weird that Sebastian’s the one who brought you out of your funk.”

“That wasn’t Sebastian,” Kurt insists. “It’s just… the idea that I might be going to New York. It doesn’t have anything to do with him.”

“I don’t know,” Rachel says, “I bet he has a _little_ bit to do with it.”

Until now, Kurt hasn’t put a lot of thought into how his relationship with Sebastian has affected him. Kurt knows that he’s been happier lately, and he knows it must be obvious, with so many other people noticing, too. It made sense to him that the prospect of leaving after spending so many dreary weeks allowing himself to feel like he was doomed to stay in Lima forever was what had brightened his mood, but maybe there is some truth to what Rachel is saying. Kurt would like to believe that his own misery was the only impetus for the change, but maybe Sebastian deserves some credit for helping speed up the process. He had been a companion when Kurt felt alone, a constant in the long, lonely work shifts at the beginning of the summer. Without Sebastian’s outrage over Kurt’s apathy, or the feel of Sebastian’s hands all over him, maybe Kurt’s confidence wouldn’t have recovered in time for him to leave for New York at the end of the summer. Maybe it would have taken him too long to remember that he _deserves_ to go to New York and chase his dreams. He is willing to admit that Sebastian has served more of a purpose than just showing Kurt that he has the capability of attracting multiple attractive men, even as a gay teenager in Lima, Ohio.

“Maybe he does,” Kurt finally says. “Sebastian’s been a really good friend.”

Rachel snorts. “Yeah, a good friend to your _penis_ , maybe!” She can’t get it out without dissolving into giggles, and it’s so ridiculous that Kurt can’t help but join her in her laughter.

-

They’re in the backseat of Sebastian’s car when Kurt first realizes that his feelings for Sebastian go a bit deeper than the friends with benefits line he’s been feeding to Rachel. It’s arguably the least romantic of their hook-ups, but they had been desperate that night, and neither of their houses were empty. Sebastian had hinted that his father probably wouldn’t bother them if they went to his house, but Kurt’s not quite ready to face Mr. Smythe again after the embarrassment of their last encounter.

It’s not the safest place for them to be messing around, but they try to be careful, waiting until the parking lot of the Lima Bean has cleared out, and then staying mostly clothed. Neither of them had any supplies with them, so it was nothing fancy - rough, dry hand jobs with their pants only pushed down enough to not be in the way. They’re lying together in the cramped backseat after they’ve cleaned up as best as they can, and Kurt feels safe and sated in Sebastian’s arms when Sebastian lets out a heavy sigh.

“I’m going to miss this car.”

Kurt laughs. “The car, or messing around in the car?”

“What do you think?”

“I think you’re going to have a whole apartment all to yourself for all of your scandalous affairs, so you won’t miss this car one bit.”

For the first time, thinking about Sebastian’s impending move leaves Kurt feeling a bit melancholy. They’re at about the 48th hour of Rachel’s dads’ waiting period, but Kurt hasn’t heard from Rachel yet. Even if Kurt is moving to New York with Rachel in a few weeks, Sebastian is leaving at the end of this weekend, and there’s going to be a period of time where they’re apart. A few weeks is no big deal, really, but it’s plenty of time for Sebastian to sleep with other people, which he is _totally_ allowed to do. Kurt didn’t realize until now that the idea of it would be so upsetting.

“I’ll miss you, though,” Sebastian says. He presses a kiss to the top of Kurt’s head, and that’s all it takes to soothe Kurt’s worries. He’s not alone in this, and he thinks he probably never has been. They were on the same page when Sebastian sucked him off at the party, and Kurt thinks they’re on the same page now, too. He pictures them dating for real - eating at restaurants, holding hands, coming home to each other at night. It’s an unexpectedly pleasant image, and Kurt thinks it could happen. Not right now, maybe, but eventually, when they’re together in the city and have more time and privacy, and Sebastian figures out that he already knows how to be a good boyfriend. Kurt will have to take it slow,and let Sebastian will downplay everything, but right now, in the back of this car, Kurt can see a future for them. The fact the he’s already so comfortable with it makes him wonder how long these feelings have been lurking in his brain, waiting for the perfect time to make themselves conscious so they weren’t wasted on Kurt before he was ready.

“I’ll miss you, too,” he replies. “But it won’t be for long.” Even now, without final confirmation, he doesn’t want to break the news, but he reaches for Sebastian’s hand so he can give it a gentle squeeze. “I’m gonna get there. Soon.”

“I know,” Sebastian says, squeezing back.

-

Things come together very quickly after that.

A phone call from Rachel interrupts Kurt’s skin care routine later that night, and she’s so excited it’s almost hard to make out her words.

“The decision stands!” she shrieks. “They said yes! And they will help me with rent since they were going to pay for my dorm, anyway! Well, as long as I keep good grades and we find a place in an outer borough!”

“Oh my god!”  
  


“I KNOW! Their friend Jocelyn is a real estate agent in the city, and they started talking to her today so she can find some stuff for us to look at that will be available in time for me to start classes! Are you free this weekend?”

Kurt thinks about it. “I have plans with Sebastian Thursday night,” he says, hoping desperately that they won’t have to be canceled. It’s the last night Sebastian has free before he leaves for the city, and Kurt isn’t scheduled to work, so they had planned on going out somewhere that wasn’t the coffee shop for once. “And I’m working all weekend, like usual, but for this, I’ll call in sick. Or just quit!” The thought of never having to put on that apron again makes him nearly delirious with joy. “Oh my god, I can _quit,_ Rachel!”

“You can!” she squeals. “I think you should be fine Thursday night. My dad mentioned leaving on Friday morning, maybe, so we could look at places on Saturday. You probably don’t _have_ to come, but-”

“I want to,” Kurt interrupts. “I won’t go to work. I don’t mind.” He doesn’t mention that the decision might not have been so easy if it affected his plans with Sebastian.

“Yay! We’re going to live together, Kurt. In New York! I can’t believe it! It’s like all of my dreams are coming true!”

“Mine, too,” he says, and for once, he doesn’t feel the slightest trace of bitterness about Rachel’s NYADA acceptance.

-

He doesn’t tell Sebastian right away. He calls his dad, who shows the appropriate enthusiasm before breaking the news that Rachel’s dads had discussed it with him over the weekend. He tells Carole, when they cross paths in the kitchen the next morning over breakfast, and she smiles, hugs him, and starts planning her first visit before getting a bit teary when she realizes that an empty nest is imminent. He tells Elaine later that day at work, and when he adds that Thursday morning will be his last shift, the short notice doesn’t make her nearly as angry as it should.

The anticipation of Sebastian’s reaction is killing Kurt, but he wants to _see_ the reaction, not just hear it, and due to Sebastian’s busy moving week schedule, he had told Kurt he probably wouldn’t be stopping by the Lima Bean. When Sebastian calls on Wednesday night to confirm their plans for Thursday, it’s hard for Kurt to stop himself from blurting out his good news as soon as he hears Sebastian’s voice.

“I was thinking I could come by your house and pick you up,” Sebastian says after they greet each other. “Maybe around six?”

“Why would you do that?” Kurt asks, confused. “It’s out of your way, and Carole’s gonna be here, so it’s not like we could do anything. We should just meet at the Lima Bean, and we can eat at one of the restaurants around there, and then maybe go see a movie at the mall?”

“Okay,” Sebastian agrees. “I just thought it would be stupid to have two cars if we were going somewhere, but if we’re just going to stay in that general area then I guess it makes sense.”

“So, six at the Lima Bean, then? Seems appropriate, doesn’t it? To end the summer there?”

Sebastian laughs. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“Okay, it’s settled, then,” Kurt says, leaning back on his heels in excitement. “I have something I need to talk to you about,” he continues, hoping to pique Sebastian’s interest. “In person, though, so it’ll have to wait ‘til tomorrow.”

“Oh,” Sebastian replies, sounding unsure. “Um. Okay. Is it a ba-”

“I have to go now,” Kurt interrupts, knowing that he won’t be able to keep the secret if Sebastian questions him about it at all. “I’ll see you at six tomorrow, bye!” He ends the call without waiting for a response, and mentally congratulates himself for his self control.

-

Kurt’s last shift at the Lima Bean isn’t much different than any of the others he worked over the summer. The long lines, coffee spills, and bad tips don’t do much to dampen Kurt’s spirits, though. At home, his bags are packed for his weekend trip to find an apartment in New York. It would take a lot more than a rude customer to ruin Kurt’s good mood right now.

Sebastian doesn’t stop by that day. He’s been busy a lot lately, rushing to get all of his stuff packed and make sure he sees everybody he knows before he leaves on Monday. Today, he’s out with his dad’s girlfriend buying some kitchen supplies for his new place. It does make Kurt’s day a bit lonelier, knowing that Sebastian won’t be coming, but they have plans together tonight, and Kurt will finally share his good news. He knows that Sebastian will be more excited than Kurt’s parents or any of his friends, and he has a wonderful image in his mind of Sebastian’s face splitting into a huge grin. Kurt can’t wait to see it happen. He thinks he’s got a pretty good shot at getting a hug, too.

Unless he can’t control himself and ruins the moment by asking Sebastian out or something. Sebastian’s not ready for that, and though Kurt is hopeful about their potential, he knows he needs to remain patient and let everything happen naturally. Tonight is not the time to make things more complicated than they already are.

His shift ends at three. He gives short, cordial goodbyes to his coworkers, and returns his apron to Elaine, who’s just arrived to work the closing shift.

“If you find yourself back in Lima,” she says, “I’m sure there will always be a job for you here.”

A lump forms in Kurt’s throat upon hearing the words. It’s silly, maybe, but he’s starting to realize that there will be a lot of things left for him in Lima after he goes. He needs to go to New York, and he already knows moving is one of the best decisions of his life thus far, but it took finally making that decision to realize that he will always have a place in Lima, wherever he ends up.

“I don’t think I’ll be moving back here,” Kurt tells her, trying to keep his voice steady. “But I’ll make sure I stop by whenever I visit.”

“You’d better.” She pulls him into a tight hug. “I hope you find a better job than this in New York.”

Kurt laughs. He can’t imagine what else he’ll be qualified for, at least not at first. He probably will be lucky to land a job like this when he moves to the city. “I hope I have a boss that’s even half as amazing as you.”

His eyes are wet when he walks out the door into the bright August sun.

-

Kurt’s back in the parking lot of the Lima Bean a few hours later, freshly showered, with an extra bounce in his step as he approaches the entrance, where he can see Sebastian already waiting. In addition to telling him about his plans to move to New York, Kurt also can’t wait to inform Sebastian that Carole’s shift has been changed, and she will be out of the house this evening if they wanted to head back there after dinner.

“Hi,” Kurt says when he gets close enough. “Have you been waiting long?”

Sebastian smiles in greeting, but he looks a bit nervous. “No, I just got here a minute ago. Do you want to get coffee first, or just go have dinner?”

“We can just go get dinner, if that’s okay with you? I already said my goodbyes in there today, and if I run into Elaine again, I might actually start sobbing.”

Sebastian laughs. “That’s fine. Is Marty’s okay?”

“Definitely,” Kurt agrees, happy that Sebastian is interested in something a bit classier than Breadstix. He hasn’t been to Marty’s in ages. “Can we talk first, though? I have something to tell you, and I was going to wait until dinner, but-”

“Okay,” Sebastian says, but he doesn’t look thrilled at the prospect. “But can I tell you something first?”

“Oh, um… sure,” replies Kurt, taken aback.

It takes Sebastian a little while to start talking, and the look on his face reminds Kurt of the moment in the coffee shop when Sebastian had been convinced Kurt was about to ask him out. If that’s what Sebastian’s afraid of now, Kurt knows he made the right decision in holding off on the whole confessing feelings thing.

Sebastian finally starts talking after a moment. “I, um… you know I’m leaving in a few days, and…” He trails off, biting his lip, and it’s clear he’s putting a lot of thought into this. Kurt wishes there was a way he could help, but Sebastian finally continues. “I’m not going to sleep with other people. Just… so you know. If you were worried about that.”

Kurt’s jaw drops. That was definitely not what he was expecting,

“Not that you have to do the same,” Sebastian hastens to add. “I mean, that would be cool, but I just… wanted to tell you. In case you were wondering.”

“You want us to be exclusive?” Kurt tries to clarify. “Like… dating?”

“If that’s… yeah. Um, if you want to. I know I can’t really expect you to stay celibate if we’re not even dating, because you’re probably the hottest guy in Lima.”

Kurt’s flattered, but he can help laughing in disbelief. “I think you’re exaggerating.”

“I’m not,” Sebastian replies, sounding more confident as he meets Kurt’s gaze. “Seriously, go to Scandals unattached and the guys will just line up to even have a chance with you. I just… I’m leaving, and it would make it a lot easier if I knew that-”

“That I wasn’t sleeping with anyone else?” Kurt asks, keeping his tone playful in an attempt to calm Sebastian down a bit.

It seems to work, because Sebastian laughs. “Um, yeah, I guess? You make it sound bad, though! I was trying to say it in a less selfish and possessive way, I swear.”

“It’s fine,” Kurt tells him. “I don’t really like the idea of you sleeping with other people, either.”

“Yeah?” Sebastian looks hopeful. “I know this is really terrible timing, because I’m leaving, and I really will be, like, the world’s worst boyfriend, but-”

“You won’t be,” Kurt interrupts, thinking of the all of the ways Sebastian has helped him over the summer. “I don’t think you’re giving yourself enough credit.”

Sebastian ducks his head. “We’ll see. If you even want to try?”

“I do,” Kurt says immediately. “Definitely. I was actually sort of hoping you’d change your mind, but I didn’t even want to bring it up until we were both in New York.”

Sebastian winces. “Yeah, I know the distance thing might suck, but… you’re going to be there soon, right?”

“Oh!” Kurt exclaims, remembering that he hasn’t shared his news yet. “Right! What I wanted to tell you before you started talking was that I’m going to New York with Rachel and her dads tomorrow to look at apartments! Rachel decided not to live in the dorms, so we’re going to try and get an apartment together, and I’m going to look for a job or internship or something until I can get into school.”

Sebastian’s reaction doesn’t disappoint. His eyes widen, his grin is huge, and by the time Kurt has stopped explaining, Sebastian’s arms are around him.

“You’re serious, right?” he asks Kurt. “This isn’t some weird joke?”

Kurt laughs as Sebastian pulls back from the hug. “No, no joke. If all goes well, we’ll be moving in a couple of a weeks. I didn’t know for sure until a few days ago.”

“That’s so great! I thought you wouldn’t be there until at least January.” He bites his lip, looking unsure again. “Is it… um, would it be weird if I kissed you right now?”

Kurt knows why he’s asking - they’re in public, and there are some people around, and they’ve never kissed unless it was leading somewhere before. He feels like teasing, though, so he raises an eyebrow. “Weird? Why? You kiss me all the time. I mean, last week, you even had your tongue in-”

Sebastian shuts him up by leaning forward and pressing their lips together. It’s a fairly chaste kiss, because there are people around, but Kurt is left wanting more when Sebastian pulls back. He considers the merits of skipping dinner altogether and just taking Sebastian back to his house.

“So you’re going to be in New York,” Sebastian says, shaking his head in disbelief. “I can’t believe it.”

“What did you think I was going to tell you?” Kurt asks, suddenly remembering Sebastian’s bizarre eagerness to speak first. “What made you want to tell me before I said anything?”

“Oh,” Sebastian says, looking embarrassed. “I thought you were going to say we shouldn’t see each other anymore, since I was leaving. I was hoping I could change your mind.”

“It’s a good thing for us, right? That I’m not staying? You didn’t just ask me out because you thought it was the only way to-”

“No,” Sebastian interrupts. “Well… maybe that’s where I got the motivation to actually ask, but I would have wanted to either way. It doesn’t really change anything, except now I get to be a shitty boyfriend in person instead of over the phone.”

Hearing Sebastian throw the word ‘boyfriend’ around is more exciting than Kurt had imagined. “You’ll be fine,” he assures Sebastian as they start walking toward the restaurant, which is located on the other side of the plaza. “Stop worrying.”

“Well, at least I already know you appreciate what I bring to the table for the physical part of the relationship,” Sebastian replies, turning to give Kurt a lascivious grin.

“That reminds me, I have something else to tell you.”

“Oh?”

“Carole’s shift got switched today, so she’ll be gone all night. My house is empty.”

Sebastian’s grin widens. “Okay, that news is even better than the news about you moving.” When Kurt elbows him, he laughs. “I’m kidding! Of course I’m happiest about you moving! Now we’ll never have to wait for a house to empty out again.”

Kurt rolls his eyes, amused.“So you’re happy about me moving, not because it’s a good decision for me, and I’ll feel happy and fulfilled because I’m pursuing my dreams, but because I’ll be in the vicinity and we’ll have a convenient place to have sex.”

Sebastian shrugs, his playful grin still firmly in place. “Told you I’d be the worst boyfriend ever.” He takes Kurt’s hand and gives it a squeeze before he starts walking faster and dragging Kurt along with him. “Come on, the faster we eat dinner, the faster we can get back to your place.”

Kurt laughs. “You’re right,” he lies, quickening his own pace to keep up. “You really are the worst boyfriend ever.” 

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[fanart] Clumsy, Instead](https://archiveofourown.org/works/623745) by [MySnarkySelf](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MySnarkySelf/pseuds/MySnarkySelf)




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